For The Too-Lazy Creative
with special guest Lauren Smoot
Lazy: unwilling to work or use energy. ←This is the first definition that Google shared when I type “lazy.” And when we label someone (or ourselves) “too lazy”, I think that’s what we mean.
Working hypothesis: You're not too lazy, or unmotivated, or not hardworking enough (or whatever else you're judging yourself for) to bring your creative ideas to life.
I suspect maybe you’re too exhausted and need a nap, or the thing you’re working on is a “supposed to,” not something you truly desire, or you’ve got a chronic illness and you’re comparing yourself to someone without one.
And I thought maybe, just maybe, a lot of folks (maybe you) who judge themselves as too lazy, or unmotivated, or not hardworking enough are experiencing something called executive dysfunction, and they don't even know it.
So I asked Lauren Smoot, a neuro-affirming business coach, if she’d mind sharing a bit about her experience of executive dysfunction and the strategies she uses to help herself and her clients achieve their goals.
To orient our discussion you should know:
executive dysfunction is a clinical term and neither Lauren or I are medical professionals or neuroscientists, and
people experience executive dysfunction for a lot of different reasons and in a a lot of different ways, and
our discussion is centered on Lauren’s lived experience and her work with small business owners
“Executive dysfunction” being a clunky medical term, I started our conversation asking Lauren to share what it feels like to experience it.
“I want to do work, but I can't because I fucking just can't.”
“I’m autistic and ADHD. And I learned about my ADHD in 2020, when a lot of people learned about it. There was sort of a big awakening because life circumstances put a whole lot of pressure on our nervous systems in 2020. And more recently, in the last 2 years, I've been exploring my autism diagnosis. And it's interesting because…”
But I used to be able to do this…
“…there's this thing called skill regression. When you learn about a diagnosis specifically—I know this happens in autistic and ADHDers, but I imagine it probably happens in other diagnoses as well—where tasks that you used to be able to do, you can't do anymore, because all of a sudden you're way more aware of how much extra brain power it was taking to do it. So whereas I used to be able to work 40 hour weeks. I can't do that anymore.
“And then I think about it like, oh, I was always an emotional mess. I was always on the edge of burnout. I was always really struggling with my mental and physical health during that time, and it's like, ‘Oh, now my brain knows it's something that I struggle with [and instead of pushing through like I used to] my body will shut down because my brain is aware.’ And so I would say, my executive dysfunction has probably increased since I became aware of my diagnoses, and that is just like a process of unmasking.”
Is it fear or is it executive dysfunction?
Some of the ways executive dysfunction shows up—procrastination, trouble starting tasks, getting distracted—are also strategies my fear uses to avoid doing things. So I asked Lauren how she discerns between executive dysfunction and fear.
“Feeling scared to do a thing increases the demand on our nervous system. It's like there's more energetic charge around the task. So if I'm already feeling low energy or dealing with executive dysfunction, doing the things I'm scared to do will feel way harder.
“But executive dysfunction doesn't feel like ‘I'm scared to do this thing,’ it feels like ‘I cannot summon the energy to do this thing.’
“Sometimes they clash, but they feel very separate for me. The strategies are still the same though...”
My takeaway: if you know you tend to have fear or extra resistance to certain tasks, you can take that into account moving forward, but maybe you don’t need to spend extra energy discerning if it’s fear or executive dysfunction before you explore ways to move forward…
“When you know certain things are hard (from fear or from executive dysfunction) what supports can you give yourself? How can you be gentle and compassionate?”
It’s frustrating, but how do we make it less frustrating?
1: Question the narrative in your head.
Growing up, despite getting A’s and B’s in some classes, Lauren shared that if she didn’t like a class, it was very easy for her to fail that class. And then she was labeled lazy-unmotivated-not-smart-enough by others, and then eventually internalized that belief.
She also shared that before she knew about executive dysfunction…
… “[focusing on] the things that I was interested in and deadlines were absolutely enough to get stuff done.
“And now that I'm aware of it, I'm more likely to accommodate myself and ask for an extension if I need it, instead of panicking and stressing. I'm more gentle with myself now, whereas before I didn't give myself the wiggle room, and so it was just, “Oh, I'm gonna be late. I'm just lazy, and then in the last few minutes I'll get it done. And that also led me to not doing my best work so then that perpetuated the lazy, not smart enough, not hardworking enough narrative.”
2: Notice what triggers your executive dysfunction
Disruptions to routine, doing work that’s not interesting, and either no deadline or an unreasonable one are some of the things that make Lauren’s and her clients symptoms more disruptive.
3: Accommodate yourself—without judging yourself for needing accommodations
“We experience disabling traits on a daily basis. And also there are going to be certain things that make our symptoms more extreme. And so how can we mitigate and/or be gentle with ourselves [with the things that make] our symptoms more extreme?”
Maybe, like Lauren and her clients, you intentionally build a business around what you’re interested in because your ADHD orients your nervous system to an interest based motivation.
Maybe you need a reasonable deadline.
Maybe you need to be honest with other people about what your capacity is (and not worry about if they're gonna judge you for it).
Maybe you need a community of people who won’t shame you for being a human with needs.
Maybe you make space for your body to move or make space to verbally process.
“If someone's not neurodivergent, or autistic, or ADHD, then they may not resonate with the [concept of] stimming…If we're not letting that energy out, it’s stuffing up the channels.
“Growing up, I was always made fun of for talking a lot and ‘Oh, yeah. Lauren can never shut up.’ [And now I realize] I was vocal stimming. I was talking as a way to process my energy in my body. And if I don't do that. I'm going to increase my symptoms because I'm not letting my nervous system do what it needs to do.”
Maybe all of those things. Maybe something else.
How to actually finish a project when you have executive dysfunction
So…what might this look like in the context of a creative project?
“A lot of my clients will be working on one thing and it's hard. They're promoting the offer, or the pricing feels scary…
“…and all of a sudden they will get the idea for a whole new offer, and they will map out a whole new thing. And there's this impulse that actually allows them to get stuff done, but it's not the thing that they were supposed to be working on.
“And so that can cause a lot of back and forth in business. In order to get momentum on something we need to be able to put enough energy into it.”
Maybe you’re recognizing yourself…? I cannot confirm or deny if I am…
“There's this impulse to do something else, and that can be great and beautiful. And I celebrate that in my clients and also sometimes we got to get back to the thing. And so one of the practices that I encourage my clients to implement is to carve out time, for the have-to-do's then give yourself time in your calendar to work on the dreamy stuff.
“I often find that executive dysfunction is increased when I don't have space. If all of my time is consumed by this to-do list, then I will definitely struggle to do it.
“And so it's: how can we create more space? And this is the least sexy answer, but I often find the best strategy is just slow way down. And it's hard because everything in the business realm is ‘shoot for the stars’ and ‘dream big’ and ‘don't play small.’ And I think that that can be really harmful for a lot of folks. It was really harmful for me.
“It's interesting because the deadline pressure is good. But social pressure? Not good for the executive functioning. And so I think, like part of the strategy is just, like, slowing down to make space while also making sure there are deadlines in play. It's very nuanced. I will say too that what works for one of my clients doesn't always work for another client.”
So we can set ourselves up to be able to finish the thing we’re working on by making space and allowing ourselves to go at our pace.
And when we’re in a project and get distracted by another new idea:
“Often, when the interest dissipates, they've gotten disconnected from the why and the reason why this was the project that we focused on…so remembering like: ‘Oh, yeah, that's the ease I'm working towards.’”
And if you’ve got a nagging task on your list that you’ve been trying to get done forever….
“I have clients who come to me, and they have this task that they’ve been trying to do forever.
“And [then they share that it’s] rewrite all the website copy and update my whole website and change all my offers. And I'm like, that is like 300 tasks! No wonder you haven't gotten that one task done. And so I think that's another: what is actually a doable task? Because if I don't have a doable task, I'm not gonna do it.”
Before we close, I want to go back to that whole "accommodating yourself and allowing ourselves to go at our pace” thing, because I think it’s hard. So I asked Lauren what she’d like to say to the person who’s wanting to start doing that, but is scared to give up the overfunctioning.
“If this is a disabling experience for you, whether or not you have a diagnosis, if this is impacting your mental health, if this is making it hard for you to deliver what you want to deliver, and you are forcing yourself…it's okay that you are disabled. It’s okay to be gentle with yourself.”
Lauren also shared that any shame or pressure you feel could actually be internalized ableism (which both of us experience!). Naming ableism when you notice it can help reduce shame and pressure to produce.
And then the question Lauren asks her clients is: Can we start teaching your nervous system that it's okay to do less?
Maybe that’s giving yourself one low expectation day a week or a month. Lauren takes an integration week every month where she doesn’t see clients or work on her business. If that all sounds like too much: how small can you start?
🧐We’ve covered a lot today, what feels most important for you to remember?
If you found this helpful, you might like Lauren’s upcoming free workshop Hocus Pocus Hyper Focus. You'll leave with an adaptable, flexible, get-shit-done system that actually works with your brain & nervous system, instead of against it! Get the details to join here.
Lauren Smoot (she/her) is a coffee lover, late dx AuDHD babe, author-in-progress, foodie, feminist, philosopher, first born daughter & resident lazy witch! She’s also pleasure-centered, neuro-affirming business coach, with a decade of experience helping folks find their own way to thrive in the hyper-capitalist hellscape we get to call home!
Until next time,
Ryn
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